Looking Good on Paper…

I told you I’d be back! I forgive you all for doubting me for a second, any more than that, I am truly hurt. 🙂 

So, I just wanted to talk about a very stressful and significant period that I am going through in my life. The college process. Most of you have probably already went through it or are in the same boat as me, going through it while trying not to drown. It’s difficult, isn’t it? The whole thing. So many factors that play into this idea that you might not be good enough for a school. You are unwanted for being who you are. It’s a shame really because there are so many beautiful and bright kids out there who might not excel in school, and because of that they won’t be able to show how they can excel in a different environment like college. This is a question for you all: How many well-rounded people do you know? Do we even know what well-rounded really means? It means having a personality that is fully developed in all aspects. Jesus Christ! What 17/18 year old has a personality that is fully developed?  You really only start to get close to figuring out who you are and what you believe in, what people are worth it or not, weeding out the good from the bad, in High School. At least, that is the way it was for me. 

The thing is I am still not comfortable with who I am. I want to do better and be better. I have so much more to go and do before I am ready to be judged on paper. And this whole paper bullshit. I understand that colleges don’t have the time or energy to meet with every student that applies, but how can you truly know someone just by reading a 650 word essay and looking at their extra-curricular activities? Maybe more Skype calls would be beneficial or have a student send in a creative video about a favorite activity or something they feel is necessary for the admission officers to know. Just to give our applications a bit of life and pizzazz. 

You send in a few papers and indirectly beg for acceptance and financial aid. I have learned that it’s not smart to have a dream college. The desire to get into Harvard, Yale, Princeton etc. will become so strong that it will overpower you. If you are accepted, it will be the best day of your life maybe, but if you are rejected…putting so much heart and soul into an application and just being denied from your dream…I don’t even want to imagine it. That’s why I decided that any school I get into, I will be perfectly content. I will still have fun and I will still learn and make friends hopefully wherever I go. That’s a big hopefully though…

It’s a crazy system, but I do know that it has to happen because out of hundreds and thousands of papers, after the blood, sweat and the inevitable tears, your application will be accepted and you will get that feeling of adoption. Someone chose you. Someone wants you. To someone the way you looked on paper was just right.